Sometimes the scripture reading goes by pretty fast, and I just want to make sure we heard something Jesus was saying here.
Listen again: “…if any two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”
“…if any two of you agree on earth about anything you ask …. “
If any two of you agree about anything …. Boy, that sets a pretty low bar. … But it points to the heart of this passage about conflict and the limitless possibilities opened by reconciliation …. If we were able to simply set aside all those complicated things that make us want what we want and, consequently, set us on a collision course with our fellows.
If you have ever been tempted to look at that passage as some kind of reference to a Santa Claus God, I invite you to consider the alternative: that the challenge is bigger … and the stakes much higher. If we can get a handle on the conflicts we constantly generate, we are opening the door to what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven.
Just a few minutes ago, we joined our voices together in a Unison Prayer of Confession. We do that every week, and maybe we fall into the trap of thinking of it as just a liturgical routine.
I know that the practice is being dropped in a lot of churches. They have replaced it with Unison Prayers of Praise or a Prayer of the Day.
A friend of mine … another pastor … sometimes teases me about it. He calls it “ladling on the guilt”, and asks questions like, “Do you always beat them up with a prayer of confession?” He says I’m too much of a Calvinist.
But today’s passage from Matthew … in fact the whole of chapter 18 from Matthew … got me thinking about what’s really behind that important part of our Sundays together.
One of the things we call ourselves is a “confessing church.” By that, we mean that we ascribe to a number of statements-of-understanding adopted over the centuries. These documents are called “confessions” and they are part of our church constitution. In fact, a new one is in the process of being adopted. This Belhar Confession came out of the agony of apartheid in South Africa, and adds to our understanding of God’s relationship to the human community…. And how us humans are called to relate to each other.
In one sense, these confessions are not the same kind of statement we make when we ask God for guidance and forgiveness in the events of our lives … but in another way, they are exactly that: These confessions acknowledge that we live in a world where sin is commonplace … where we are sucked into it just by going about our day-to-day business … and that God dreams something better for this creation.
Oh, yeah … and that God wants a relationship with us and is willing to pursue that in spite of the many many times our thinking-and-unthinking-acts get us crosswise with what we imagine God would prefer.
And that’s the thing about the Prayer of Confession: I never felt “beat up” by this piece of the service … I always felt a bit comforted to be with other people who admit that we aren’t some saintly gathering of religious perfection, but instead, were people who fell short every day. … That’s one of the original meanings of the word “sin” – an arrow that misses its mark. …. And in those few moments of silent reflection at the end of the prayer, I can add in a little bit about some personal matters on which I fall short as well.
All of this is kind of easy, because I know God loves me and …. Everything I know about God reinforces this …. That no matter how hard it is to forgive me … God is up to the task. … And that Prayer of Confession every week is like dumping out a backpack full of rocks.
Man, does that feel GOOD….. Yes, my brothers and sisters. Here we are together in community … relieved of the bondage and baggage of a world of sin … and it feels … GOOD….
So, if community is so good, why do we get such knowing nods of agreement when we quote Jean-Paul Sartre in the famous last line of the play “No Exit”, “Hell is other people.”
The simple fact is that we screw up. We fall short, in the words of the hymn. Most of you know that this Fellowship sponsors a recovery group that uses the Bible as well as resources from groups like Alcoholics Anonymous to help people living lives encumbered by alcoholism, addiction and co-dependence find more healthy approaches to living. One resource from Alcoholics Anonymous talks about how people get crosswise with each other in these words: “any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well. He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?”
Sound at all familiar? You don’t have to be an alcoholic to come to the conclusion that so-and-so has done me wrong… or in the words of our scripture, has sinned against me.
We live in an era when the basic stuff of human contact is being frayed by our increasingly wonderful means of communicating with one another. We can smear somebody on Facebook. We can send snarky texts. … Have you heard of anyone who has been fired or laid-off her job by e-mail? … It happens.
But Jesus calls us to something much more human … and I’m afraid that this passage often gets misused because it gets taken out of context. This little snippet is taken from a series of teachings about how important and valuable PERSONAL relationship is in the scheme of things Jesus ushers in.
That’s what this whole chapter in Matthew is about. It begins with a call to humility …. A recognition that one person running the life of someone else doesn’t work. Jesus even says that greatness in God’s dream for creation requires humility like that of a little child. He follows with a story about how important one sheep … one single relationship …. is, in God’s view. That one broken relationship is worth letting the rest of the flock … think what it will … react however it will …. While trying to heal that one breach.
It is hard to remember that humility when we feel we’ve been sinned against. … We want to strike back.
But Jesus says: No, take that person aside and have a face-to-face talk. Not an e-mail or text or voice-mail. Or worse, complaining about it to a third person. ….. So, what do you say? …. The first thing is to admit that “I hurt.” … That’s not easy. What’s easy is to come out swinging and blaming and demanding. …. But admitting that “I hurt” exposes our vulnerability. It makes us humble.
Too often, this text has been offered as a model for Christian chastising … It goes something like this: Go talk to this sinner. If that doesn’t get him to mend his ways, then get your buddy and the two of you go talk some sense into him. If that doesn’t work, set up a kangaroo court before the whole assembly. And if this miscreant still won’t toe the line, then shun him like the sinner he is … a Gentile and a tax-collector.
The core question is this: Is it better to be right? … or is it better to be in relationship?
Jesus filled his life with examples that the great value is relationship. We have to admire the tongue-in-cheek way he delivered that message – you can almost see him giving a mischievous wink as he talked about those who still wouldn’t listen: “let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
Remember the tax collector Zacchaeus? Jesus called him down from his perch in a sycamore in Jericho and started a relationship with him. The Syro-Phoenician woman who claimed a right to crumbs from the master’s table? And how many other tax collectors and Gentiles? Jesus sought them out to initiate relationships.
And what is “right” too often has more to do with whose toes are being stepped on. The Belhar Confession I mentioned earlier harks back to a time in South Africa when what was right involved a lot of practices we now find simply wrong. The document is important to our church because we Americans, too, have lived through eras of racial injustice like South Africa.
When relationship is preserved, there is still a chance for healing.
There’s one other point worth clarifying. Our NRSV translation says “if a member of the church sins against you.” … The original Greek doesn’t say anything about membership in an institution. It simply says, “If a brother sins against you….” We understand, of course that sisters are included as well …
But the point is about where we draw the line with seeking to heal broken relationships. …. It may be that the limit is just as expansive as we can imagine the Kingdom of Heaven.
We all have relationships that are strained … I hope we can go out from here this morning with something tangible…. A simple beginning. I have some paper here that I’d like to hand out to each of you. After you get it, let’s sit quietly for just a minute. Then I’d ask you to write two words at the top left. Write the word “Dear” and then a name.
You don’t have to finish the letter today … but just getting in mind the name of someone with whom we can begin the process of making peace is miles ahead of a lot of our world. And it is a step toward the world of God’s dreams.
Let’s take that moment now…..
Let us pray: Loving God, we turn to you again and again in our agitated, often conflicted lives …. Seeking the simple assurance that you still love us … that you still want a relationship with us. We turn to you now, asking for a fullness of peace that we can extend through our own … humility and vulnerability … so that we might … in healing our torn relationships … help secure a small corner of the great Peace that is your dream and promise. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
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